How to Get on My Calendar

I promise, making plans with me is much easier than some of you are making it. I say that with love. Mostly.

Lately, I’ve been getting quite a few emails that start with some variation of:

“When are you available?”

And while I absolutely appreciate you reaching out, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I would much rather know when you’re available.

My schedule may be limited, but I’m surprisingly good at fitting myself into yours. Give me a date, a general time, where you’ll be, and how long you’d like to spend together, and I can usually tell you pretty quickly whether I can make the magic happen. Sending me a blank “What does your availability look like?” creates an unnecessary game of calendar ping-pong. It’ll play out something like this:

I give you three dates.

None work.

You send me two.

I check again.

Suddenly we’ve exchanged nine messages and still haven’t decided when we're kissing. We can do a LOT better

Start With My Inquiry Form. Please.

I made my inquiry form specifically for new friends to make this easier for both of us. Instead of piecing together the details through several emails, you can tell me everything I need in one place: when you'd like to see me, your preferred time, where you'll be, how much time you're considering, and anything else you think I should know.

If you've emailed me before and I've redirected you to the inquiry form on my website, there's a reason for that. Actually, there are two. And no, one of them isn’t to be rude!

First, I need one centralized place for booking requests. Alexia isn't the only thing happening in my life, and between my career, personal inbox, newsletters, travel, and everything else competing for my attention, I need to be able to quickly see who is genuinely trying to make plans with me and follow up accordingly.

Second, the information you provide tells me how seriously I should treat the inquiry.

If I open an email that only says “Are you available?” or contains one or two questions with no date, time, location, or idea of what you're looking for, I don't have much to work with. Those messages naturally fall into my “no immediate response” pile and, depending on the approach, sometimes my “probably not a fit” pile.

That's not me being difficult or expecting you to arrive with an itinerary and a PowerPoint presentation. It's simply triage. If one person says “Are you free this weekend?” and another tells me “I'll be in Los Angeles Saturday, I'd love to see you around 7 PM for four hours, and I can also make Sunday work,” I know exactly which message I can act on immediately.

You don't need to write me a novel. You don't need to have every tiny detail figured out, either.

Just give me something to work with.

Your date + your time + your city + the experience you're considering = a very happy Alexia. ♡

If you have some flexibility, even better. Give me your first choice and an alternate, and I'll see what I can make work.

The inquiry form keeps all of that information together, helps me respond to serious requests faster, and dramatically reduces the chance of your plans getting lost among everything else in my inbox. And yes, I know some of you found my email address first.

I still want you to use the form. ♡

“But Alexia, What If I’m Not Sure You’re Available?”

Send the inquiry anyway. An inquiry isn't a reservation, and you're not committing yourself to anything simply by telling me what you have in mind. If you want Friday at 8 PM, tell me Friday at 8 PM. If you're visiting Los Angeles and Saturday afternoon is your only free window, tell me that.

I simply want to see who is setting the intention to see me seriously over those who are fishing for information.

If you're considering stealing me away for six hours or whichever duration, but could make either Saturday or Sunday work, now we're getting somewhere. Let me figure out whether I can accommodate you.

I have a demanding career outside of Alexia, so planning ahead will always give us more options. My weekday calendar generally opens in the evenings, while weekends give me considerably more room to play. But you don't need to reverse-engineer my life before sending an inquiry.

Tell me your ideal plan first. I'll tell you what I can do.

Easy.

Then Comes a Little Screening ♡

If we haven't met before, there will be a brief screening process before our plans are confirmed.

No, I'm not going to explain every detail of how I verify someone. There wouldn't be much point in screening if I published the entire process on the internet, would there? What I can tell you is that I offer several straightforward ways to complete it, and I only ask for what's necessary to help me feel comfortable meeting someone new.

Your information is handled discreetly and used for verification.

I understand that privacy matters.

Mine does too.

Screening isn't an accusation, and it isn't something you need to take personally. It's simply part of how I meet new people safely and confidently. Once I send you the options, choose whichever available method works best for you and we'll go from there.

The easiest way through screening is simply to be straightforward with me.

And Finally, the Deposit

Once we’ve agreed on the date, time, location, and experience, a 20% deposit makes our plans official.

This is the point where your plans go from:

“Alexia and I are talking about Saturday…”

to:

“Alexia is mine on Saturday.”

Doesn’t that have a nice ring to it? It does to me! ♡

Until the deposit is received, your time is not reserved. Deposits are nonrefundable and subject to my rescheduling and cancellation policies, which are available on my website before you book. I strongly encourage you to read through them beforehand so there are no surprises and we’re both on the same page.

And yes, regular friends still send deposits.

It isn’t a reflection of whether I trust you, like you, or how long we’ve known one another. A deposit is simply how time on my calendar is reserved. In fact, some of the people I’ve known the longest understand and respect that better than anyone.

And one last thing: if either my screening process or deposit policy gives you pause, please don’t force yourself to proceed. I genuinely want you to feel comfortable with the person you choose to spend your time with, and that includes feeling comfortable with her booking process.

My policies are what allow me to feel comfortable meeting you, too. If mine don’t align with what makes you comfortable, another lovely provider may simply be a better fit—and that’s perfectly okay.

The right fit should feel good for both of us.

So, Let's Make This Easy

You found me. You liked what you saw. You read entirely too much of my website. Maybe you even lurked for a while. (I know your kind, haha.)

Now you're finally ready to say hello.

Perfect.

Don't email me asking:

“What's your availability?”

Instead, come to me with:

“I'd love to see you Saturday around 7 PM in Los Angeles for four hours. Does that work for you?”

Oh.

Now that I can work with.

Send your inquiry through my website, give me the plans you're imagining, and let me take it from there.

A little screening.
A little deposit.
A little anticipation.

And then?

Well...

You've already read enough instructions.

The fun part comes next. ♡

— Alexia

Curves. Charm. Chemistry.